Ye Ice Falls
by TheScarletOctopus
Summary: Seeking to numb the pain from her split with Beck, Jade takes an Antarctic cruise-and, on a whim, invites André along.  They're an odd couple, no doubt about it-but when disaster strikes, they're also each other's only hope for survival.
1. Dinner for One

**A/N: Still stuck on "Trina, Interrupted," so you know what that means: in the words of the Monty Python troupe, "And now for something completely different." Note that I'm not really a Jandre shipper- as regular readers of my stories will know, I prefer Tandre and Bade- but I thought I'd take the opportunity to explore two characters who don't get to interact very much (outside "Jade Gets Crushed", that is).**

**Disclaimer: does it really need to be said at this point?**

_Ye ice-falls! Ye that from the mountain's brow_

_Adown enormous ravines slope amain-_

_Torrents, methinks, that heard a mighty voice,_

_And stopped at once amid their maddest plunge!_

_Motionless torrents! Silent cataracts!_

_Who made you glorious as the gates of Heaven_

_Beneath the keen full moon? Who bade the sun_

_Clothe you with rainbows? Who, with living flowers_

_Of loveliest blue, spread garlands at your feet?_

_**-Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Hymn Before Sunrise, in the Vale of Chamouni"**_

_We are weak, writing is difficult, but for my own sake I do not regret this journey, which has shown that Englishmen can endure hardships, help one another, and meet death with as great a fortitude as ever in the past. We took risks, we knew we took them; things have come out against us, and therefore we have no cause for complaint, but bow to the will of Providence, determined still to do our best to the last._

_**-Final diary entry of Robert Falcon Scott, polar explorer**_

"Gas bill…catalog full of crap I don't need…electric bill…'Save the Lemurs' fund…_sigh_…cable bill…"

Jade West was beginning to understand just why the U.S. Postal Service was on the verge of extinction.

With a methodical ruthlessness, she went on sorting through the pile of mail. The broccoli-laden smell of the casserole currently heating in the oven tickled her nostrils, but she wasn't really hungry. After all, it would be just another dinner alone. Her father, to Jade's complete lack of surprise, was working late, and their great house, utterly silent, the lights turned off in every room but this one, felt like a cavernous tomb.

As she tossed aside two mailings asking for campaign donations, a slim postcard, which she had not seen, slid out from between them and floated slowly to the floor. Having nothing better to do, she picked it up.

"Scan this code with your PearPhone, and you and a guest could win an ADVENTURE CRUISE to the SOUTH POLE! Get a first-hand look at the exotic wildlife and stunning natural beauty you can only find at the bottom of the world! Don't delay! Brought to you by Nözu Sushi Restaurant of Hollywood!"

Jade blinked. _N__ö__zu? Mrs. __**Lee's**__ restaurant? You have __**got**__ to be kidding me…_

She was about to drop it into the garbage can when the oven timer began to beep. The noise was excruciatingly annoying, and Jade hurried into the kitchen to turn it off, the card still in her hand.

In her haste, she forgot to put on an oven mitt before pulling out the dish, and…

"**GAAH!"**

A mess of broccoli, cheese, noodles and bits of steak splattered onto the linoleum. Jade sucked her stinging fingers, tears welling up in her ears. _Oh, God, this is worse than that time at Sikowitz's house. At least then there were people around, and somebody to offer me a ride to the hospital. Even if I was too proud to take it…_

_Shit, I hate always being alone._

Debating whether to bandage her hand or mop up the mess, she suddenly felt too weary to do either, and slumped into a chair at the kitchen table.

_There's no getting around it, is there? My life sucks. No friends, no Beck, no parents worthy of the name…no hope…_

_Whoa. Don't go there, Jadelyn._

She took another look at the card, thought for a moment, chuckled to herself.

_Ah, what the heck. There's no chance I'll win, but I'd do anything to get away._

When she returned from the emergency room two hours later, the floor-casserole had dried, and her father still hadn't returned. Her resolve hardened, and she flicked on her PearPhone, then swept it over the bar code on the postcard.

A frantic beeping filled the room once again. _The __**hell?**__ I thought I turned the oven timer off…_

_That's not the oven timer._

Words in huge, red letters were flashing on the screen. Jade stared at them, not able to believe their import. The beeping was replaced by a synthesized trumpet fanfare.

Jade set the phone down on the table and rose, then walked, with the mechanical gait of one in a trance, to the hall closet. She rifled through the clothes hanging there, once, twice; pulled the door shut.

And then she began to run.

/

Geoffrey West cast a sidelong glance at the clock. 9:00 P.M., and a mound of paperwork still to get through before he could afford to leave. He sighed heavily and ran his fingers over his face. _A few more days of this, and Jade's going to forget what I look like._

The phone rang. He would have ignored it had the caller I.D. not caught his attention. His jaw dropped; he genuinely could not remember the last time his daughter had called him at work.

"Jade? What is it?"

Silence at the other end of the line, except for rapid breathing.

He clutched the phone tighter. "Jade, sweetheart, talk to me. Is something wrong?"

A grunt of effort, as if his daughter were willing herself to keep from hyperventilating. Then words he would not, in a million years, have expected to hear:

"Dad, do you know where I can get a parka?"


	2. Surprise Guest

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

_Polar exploration is at once the cleanest and most isolated way of having a bad time which has been devised._

_**-Apsley Cherry-Garrard**_**, The Worst Journey in the World**

/

At lunch the next day, the little group of friends sat, as usual, in a crescent around their favorite table. Jade, at one end, faced Beck at the other directly, and neither of them was comfortable about it, a fact that was soon conveyed to their friends by their constant nervous squirming.

Finally, Tori, unable to hold her tongue, said, "One of you guys want to switch seats with me?"

"No, thanks," replied Beck.

"Can it, Vega," replied Jade, and was instantly sorry for her outburst. Much as she loved to find excuses to insult Tori, this situation couldn't be blamed on anyone but Jade herself.

As much as they had squabbled (and Jade now acknowledged, ruefully, that she was the instigator of those squabbles more often than not), Beck and Jade had been genuinely happy when they were together, or so Jade wanted to believe. They were more than just the usual ephemeral high school couple; they were the Beckandjade, a unit, each completing the other, the two of them against the world. Without Beck in her life, Jade felt that she had lost the one piece of solid ground beneath her feet in a world of ever-shifting seas.

She decided to change the subject, as quickly as she could. "So…um…I entered this contest…and I…well…I won this cruise to Antarctica."

Tori's fork, halfway to her mouth, fell to the table. Everyone stared in astonishment at Jade.

"Are you kidding?" Robbie cried.

"No, Shapiro, I'm really not. It's a cruise for two, during spring break."

"Hooray!" yelled Cat. Tori and Robbie applauded. André, whose keyboard was, as always, at his fingertips, grinned from ear to ear and played the chords of the "Triumphal March" from _Aida_. Even Beck gave Jade a smile.

"So, who are you going to take as your guest?" asked Tori when the cheering subsided. Beck's smile faded, and he looked away.

"I hadn't really thought about it, to be honest. I mean, I would have liked to go with-" she looked down, embarrassed to admit the truth- "with my dad, you know? Just so we could talk, for once. But he's got work. Surprise, surprise."

"Why not take everybody's favorite two-foot-tall stud?" said Rex, winking. "We can share a cabin…"

Jade scowled. "Sounds great! I wonder if cruise ships have _wood chippers_ on board?"

"Aaah! Hide me from the she-devil, Rob!"

"Don't be silly, Rex," said Cat. "Of course my BFF Jadey's going to take _me_! We can see the penguins, and the polar bears-"

"There are no polar bears at the South Pole," put in Robbie.

"Phooey! Okay, just the penguins. And we can dress them up in cute little costumes, and have a tea party, and sing songs! 'Ho ho hee, a penguin's life for me…'"

"André!" Jade blurted out, suddenly struck with a nightmarish vision of being trapped on a boat for a week with the hyperactive little redhead, and seeking to avoid it at all costs. "Why don't you come with me?"

He looked up from his keyboard with surprised eyes. "Why me?"

"Um…well…your folks are out of town, aren't they?"

"Uh-huh."

"And your grandma's…" She was unsure how to finish the sentence without humiliating André, but it fortunately proved unnecessary.

"Yeah," he said with a sigh. "She'll be there for a long time. The hallucinations are…they're bad this time. _Really_ bad. It's going to be a while before the doctors find the right medication balance, and even longer before it kicks in." His voice grew quiet. "In the meantime, she's in no condition to see anybody, even me." He turned away, staring at the wall, ignoring Tori's comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Sounds like you could use an escape from reality just as much as I could," Jade said.

André nodded, almost imperceptibly.

"Oh, well. So much for dressing up penguins." Cat pouted in her usual adorable fashion, with her lower lip sticking out, then instantly brightened up. "Hope you have fun, André! You too, Jade – but you still owe me a trip," and she grinned mischievously.

"Hopefully one where you _don't_ end up burning down a movie star's home," said Rex. Without a word, Jade crammed a taco shell into the impertinent puppet's mouth.

/

Caroline Lee had to fight the urge to fling her computer against the office wall.

"How? _How?_ How can that _brat_ who left my _daughter_ hanging from the _ceiling_ win the trip I offered? Is there no _justice_ in the world?"

She banged her fists on her desk like a petulant child – then froze mid-motion, as a wickedly delightful thought crept into her head.

She flicked on the intercom to her personal secretary. "Karl? Have you made the travel arrangements for the Antarctic cruise yet?"

"No, ma'am," the tinny voice replied through static. "Are you still planning to book the QE2?"

Mrs. Lee chuckled. "Actually, I think we should go for something a little…cheaper."

"How _much_ cheaper?"

"Oh, let's say…a barely seaworthy piece of junk?"

"Are…are you sure about that, ma'am?"

"Oh, yes. Very sure."

The moment she turned the intercom off, her malevolent cackling filled the office. She might have to give Jade West a free cruise – but she could still do her damnedest to make sure that the girl would _not _have a pleasant experience.

At all.


	3. Voyage of the Damned

**A/N: I notice that this story has had sixty-eight visitors to date, but only two reviews. So (at the risk of sounding desperate), if you're reading this and haven't yet left a review, would you please do so? Even if it's just to say "This story is complete horse manure, and you should never, ever, touch a keyboard again."**

**Disclaimer: If I owned **_**Victorious**_**, my diet wouldn't consist solely of microwave meals and Capri-Sun pouches, now would it?**

_Now I know how a pack mule must_ _feel_, thought Jade.

Realistically, the cruise ship would probably carry all the amenities she would need, but she was in no mood to take anything for granted, especially where Mrs. Lee was involved – Tori had told her that the restaurant owner still held a grudge against the two of them for the whole "Well Wishes" incident. So, after a shopping spree in downtown L.A., Jade now wore a pack crammed with multiple jackets; thermal blankets; several dozen pre-packaged, freeze-dried meals; a satellite phone; a combined compass/sextant/GPS locator; and anything else she could think of. The weight bowed her over as she walked down the quay. _Scoliosis, here I come…_

"Look, Jade, for the last time, let me carry that," said the far less heavily burdened André.

"I've got it," she snapped, secretly envying André's impressive upper-body strength.

They turned off onto pier 27, where their ship was docked, and were immediately unsettled. The walkway was narrow and in dismal repair, the boards soaked with seawater and rotting.

"This can't be right," said Andre. "Shouldn't a grand cruise ship have, y'know, a grand pier to match?"

Jade double-checked her itinerary. "As far as I can tell, this _is _the right pier…AAH!"

A beam snapped in two beneath the weight of Jade's foot. Moving like lightning, André seized her hand and pulled her back up before she could fall through completely.

"Okay, that?" she gasped. "Was _not_ a good omen."

"No argument there," André replied. "Are you okay to walk?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine." She added, more softly: "Thanks, though."

"No problem." He grinned, and Jade thought, not for the first time, that he had a truly lovely smile. Not on par with Beck's, of course; but still…

As they neared the end of the pier, their ride loomed into view.

"Oh. My. God," said Jade.

"We ain't comin' back from this trip alive, are we?" said André.

Neither of them could guess how this death-trap kept from sinking. As it was, the hideous little boat had a distinct starboard list, which exposed a hasty patch job near the port bow over what had been a gaping hole.

"It looks like a freakin' fishing-boat," said André.

"So it was," said an all-too-familiar voice. They spun to see Mrs. Lee approaching them, dashing their brief hopes that this might, after all, be the wrong vessel.

"What..what happened to it?" asked Jade, pointing at the patch.

"I believe it dredged up an old World War II mine," the restaurant owner replied, with a chillingly self-contented smile on her face. "A miracle, truly, that the explosion didn't sink it. I can only credit the skill of the captain…Why, children, what's the matter?"

"What's the _matter?_" cried Jade. "You call this a _cruise ship?_"

Andre interposed himself between her and Mrs. Lee, and said, as calmly and evenly as he could, "It's just that – well – this isn't quite what we expected, ma'am."

"Be ye speaking ill of…_hic_…of my fine ship?" A staggering figure appeared at the top of the gangplank and began, with difficulty, to descend. "Why, the _Mary Celeste 2_ is the finest vessel you'll find this side of the International…_hic_…International bloody Date Line!"

Jade recoiled as he approached. His breath – no, his entire body – gave off the scent of stale cigarettes, cheap gin, and…

"Jesus, are you wearing a _car air freshener?_"

"What? Don't be silly, lass! I'm wearing _two_ car air fresheners!" True to his word, he pulled out two little pine trees on a piece of string from his shirt. There were black stains on them on whose origin Jade didn't care to speculate. "Saves me the trouble of bathing, don't you know. Not fond of bathing, am I. Can't stand the water!"

Jade and André stared at him in horror. He burst out laughing. "That was a _joke_, you thick-headed whippersnappers! Looks as if I'll have to teach you two a sense of humor while we're voyaging. After all, you're my only passengers…oh, bloody hell, there go the legs." His knees wavered, collapsed, and he fell face forward onto the pier.

"Okay, that's it. I am _not_ getting on this boat!" Jade yelled. "Mrs. Lee, you can take your 'cruise' and shove-"

"Very well." Smirking now, Mrs. Lee held out her hand, palm up. "Five thousand dollars, please."

"What?" said Jade flatly.

"I see you didn't read the fine print when you signed the contract accepting this trip. If you back out now, you're required to reimburse me for the expenses I incurred hiring a vessel – five thousand dollars."

Now André's diplomatic façade cracked. "The _hell_ are you talkin' about? Ain't no _way_ a cruise on that…_thing_…costs five thousand! I could probably buy the whole damn _boat_ for a couple hundred!"

"Oh, so you dispute my assessment, do you?" Mrs. Lee's smirk grew even wider. "In that case, you're welcome to take the matter to court. Of course, with the team of lawyers I'll deploy against you, you'll be sure to rack up _tens_ of thousands of dollars in court fees, even _before_ you lose."

André and Jade exchanged horrified looks. They were caught, and they both knew it.

Jade's shoulders slumped in defeat. "Fine. We'll take the damn cruise. But you'd better keep in mind, my dad has his own 'team of lawyers', and if anything happens to André or me, he'll sue _you_ for every penny you've got!"

"Duly noted," Mrs. Lee replied dryly. "And now, I must be off. Bon voyage!"

With heavy hearts, the teenagers followed their drunken captain up the gangplank. Mrs. Lee, meanwhile, walked back to the head of the pier, where her faithful assistant Karl awaited her.

"You took care of the…matter, I trust, Karl?"

"Erm…yes, ma'am. I did hire the…gentlemen…you requested. But…"

"But what?" She snapped.

"This could…from a certain point of view…fall under the category of…um…of attempted murder," he blurted out.

"A minor technicality. And besides, these sorts of disasters happen all the time at sea. No one will think anything of it when two youths and a drunken sot meet a watery grave."


	4. Party Crashers

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Keep them coming, s'il vous plait! Also, a warning: there is some strong language in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

Jade leaned over the side, letting her hair blow loosely in the sea breeze. She was uncharacteristically clad in a thin white shirt, khaki shorts, and sandals; might as well get as much use out of her summer clothes as possible, she reasoned, before they were completely immersed in bitter cold. To port, Tierra del Fuego, the southernmost point of Argentina, slipped past the ship soundlessly.

André, despite himself, found himself casting surreptitious sidelong glances at Jade. He began to sing softly: "Seven days a week, every hour of the month, gotta let you know where my heart is comin' from…"

Jade turned to him. "Who was that song for, anyway? I mean, I always assumed it was Vega, but…"

André fingered his collar, which had suddenly grown uncomfortably tight. "Uh…hey! Look at that! There's some kind of white mushroom-things clinging to the hull! What if they eat through it and we start taking on water?"

She chuckled. "Those are _barnacles_, André. They end up on _every_ ship sooner or later. Not much of an ocean-goer, are you?"

"Hey, cut me some slack. I grew up in South Central L.A. The closest thing we ever got to an 'open body of water' was when some kids took the top off a fire hydrant. And anyway, you're one to talk. Didn't you say on _Queries for Couples_ that you hate the ocean?"

"Um…yeah…about that…I may have…" Ashamed, she lowered her voice until it was virtually inaudible. "…may have said that just to needle Beck." _God, why did I always have to come up with some pretext to pick a fight?_

André sighed. "Jade, you're awesome, but you gotta learn that people ain't just your punching bags, y'know?"

"Believe me, I know." She looked at André and was impressed to see him perfectly steady. "Hey – for somebody who's never been at sea before, you're sure doing well. No sea-sickness or anything."

"Yeah…which is more than I can say for some people." He tilted his head ever so slightly to his left, where, farther down the railing, the stalwart Captain Hieronymus Farmer was currently retching copiously over the side.

"Oy! It's not sea-sickness, ye landlubber, it's me…me medicine. It's done me a bad turn," said the Captain, as an empty vodka bottle slipped from his pocket and clattered to the deck. "But I'll be just fine, never you mind…just dandy…" He began to sing, horribly off-key. "Yo ho ho and a bottle of…pieces of eight…Way, hey, blow the…mainsail down…bugger." And he sprawled face-forward once again.

"Thank you, Jesus, for autopilot," said Jade to the sunny sky.

"Amen," said André. "Hey – what's that, coming up…whatchamacallit…astern?"

"Hmm? I don't see anything…no, wait. You must have eagle eyes. It looks like…a boat. Coming up fast, too." She tensed up. "_Too_ fast."

From the distant craft, there was a short burst of crackling into the air.

Automatic weapon fire.

"Jade, get into the cabin, and lock yourself in there," André said instantly.

"But…"

"God _damn_ it, don't argue with me now! _Get in the cabin!_"

She would have protested again, but the look in André's eyes forestalled her. His harsh words notwithstanding, there was no anger in his eyes – only concern. Concern…and fear.

Without another word, she raced to the cabin.

"Captain Farmer!" André yelled. "Trouble!"

The prostrate form didn't move.

"Shit," the musician muttered. "Gonna have to do this by myself, I guess."

Inside the cabin, Jade picked up the radio handset. "Mayday, mayday, SOS. This is the _Mary Celeste 2_, near…somewhere…um, Argentina, I think…we're under attack by pirates…hello? Hello? Is anyone receiving me?"

There was no answer. She pulled open the radio casing, and was greeted by a nest of dangling wires that had been chewed through by some small animal. "Oh, God."

As the speedboat drew alongside the _Mary Celeste_, a man who appeared to be its captain stood up, and shouted through a microphone in an Eastern European accent André couldn't quite place: "American vessel! Prepare to be boarded!"

"Prepare to go _fuck _yourselves!" André shouted back.

"Very stupid, Yankee. And now you will be very dead." The captain stepped aside as two of his crew, toting what looked to be AK-47 knockoffs, hurled grappling hooks over the side of the _Mary Celeste_ and began to clamber up.

_Modern-day pirates_, thought André. _Un-freakin'-believable_. He rifled through the nearby toolbox until he found what he was looking for – a gargantuan sailor's knife. He scrambled toward the grappling hooks and began to chop, cut, slash frantically. At last the rope, hopelessly frayed, gave way; and with a brief cry, the first of the pirates toppled back into his boat.

_One down, one to go…_"AAGH!" The spray of rifle fire might have been poorly aimed – the second pirate was, after all, forced to aim his weapon with one hand while clinging to the climbing rope with the other – but it was almost inevitable that out of so many bullets, at least one would find its mark; and so it did. The hot lead pierced André's right shoulder, shattering bone, severing tendon, and lodged itself in the cabin wall behind him.

His right arm was practically useless now, but he had no intention of giving up. Switching the knife to his left hand, he began to hack away again, with less success this time. The pirate, grinning, was almost at the top…

_Can't let Jade down. Gotta keep her safe. Whatever it takes._ He discarded the knife and began to tear at the rope with his teeth. One strand at a time, with cruel slowness, it gave way. Just as the pirate was swinging his leg over the side, the rope at last snapped, and he lost his footing.

_Now's my chance._ André put his head down and bull-rushed the tottering man. With a single "OOOMPH!", the pirate fell, this time missing the boat completely and splashing into the cold ocean waters. The captain tossed him a life preserver with a contemptuous sneer, as André struggled to right himself and barely avoided falling overboard himself.

"Not bad, Yankee. But I do not think you will stop this." Setting down the megaphone at his feet, the pirate captain hoisted to his shoulder a long green tube that André, after a moment, recognized with a shudder of horror.

_Holy fuck. That's a rocket-propelled grenade launcher._

"Have a drink, boy," and he fired. The roar deafened André as the grenade struck the starboard stern just at the waterline and exploded into a thousand pieces. Seawater began to rush into the shattered hull.

With a hideous laugh from its captain, the pirate boat sped away.


	5. Adrift

**A/N: Based upon the tracking stats, this story is absolutely **_**hemorrhaging**_** readers from one chapter to the next, but nothing daunted, I shall continue, at least for the time being.**

**Disclaimer: As ever, don't own.**

Locked in the cabin as she was, it was impossible for Jade to see what was going out outside; but the deafening roar, and the sudden list of the ship that immediately followed it, told her that something horrible had happened. A moment later, a powerful fist began to beat on the cabin door. She searched about for a weapon, found a flare-gun, and leveled it at the door with shaking hands. "Stay back!" she cried. "I'm armed!"

"It's me!" yelled André. Jade gave a sigh of relief and let the gun fall as she hurried to the door and swung back the heavy bar.

"What is it? What's going on?"

"We're sinking. We need to get off this damn boat, as fast as we can."

She noticed the blood soaking through André's undershirt. "Jesus, what happened?"

"It's not important right now. First things first –we gotta keep from drowning."

Jade nodded. "What about the captain?"

André grimaced. "I don't know if there's anything we can do. If he's really so damn hammered that even a _grenade_ didn't wake him up…"

"It did," said the captain behind him. They were startled to see how much he seemed changed; his eyes, long since yellowed by jaundice, were now hollow and haunted, but for the first time he stood straight, and his voice was quiet and even.

"Oh, thank God. Which way to the life-raft?" said Jade.

"Port bow. Better get it in the water before it's completely swamped and you can't launch it."

"What, aren't you going to help us?" she cried.

He said nothing; looked away. Realization struck her.

"You're not coming, are you?"

"Rations will last longer with two than they will with three. And the truth of it is, this ship's all I've got. Without her…well, there's no point, is there?" He smiled sadly. "I'm an old man, and not much of a man at that. But you two are young and strong. You'll survive." His voice sank to a whisper. "God be with you."

Jade wanted to weep, but the water rising around her ankles reminded her that there was no time even for pity. "And you, Captain." She and André rushed past him to the port bow.

Captain Farmer's warning was prophetic. Waves sloshing over the side had almost reached the raft. Jade hurled her pack into it, then climbed in herself; André undid the stays, waited until he was sure the raft would come loose, and at last jumped into it as it swiftly descended.

With a jolt, they struck open water. André took up the oars, willing himself to ignore the agony in his shoulder, while Jade hunted about for the distress beacon. For a heart-stopping moment, she feared that the salt water had ruined it, but at last it began to beep steadily. Now, finally having time to breathe, she slumped down in the stern of the raft, gasping.

André looked back without breaking the rhythm of his rowing. "How you doin' there, Jade?"

"Been…_gasp_…been better."

She turned to watch as the _Mary Celeste 2_ swung slowly, almost gracefully, to starboard and began to descend beneath the waters. The setting sun in the west nearly blinded her, but after shading her eyes, she could just make out the increasingly tiny figure of the captain. He did not move from the spot where he stood, only removed his cap and held it to his heart as the ship turned fully upside down and he was engulfed in the abyss. A single tear fell from the corner of Jade's eye.

"You know, I didn't even like him all that much, but God knows he didn't deserve this," she said.

Gritting his teeth with both effort and anger, André replied, "We'll avenge him. Someday. Those bastards are going to pay for what they did."

A small smile formed on Jade's lips.

"What are you thinkin' about?" André asked her.

"Oh, just something I once read about Julius Caesar. When he was still pretty young – about our age, actually – his ship was captured by pirates, and they held him for ransom. While they were waiting for the ransom to arrive, the pirates asked Caesar what he would do first once he was freed. He said, completely calmly, 'I'm going to come back and kill you all.' They all thought it was just a young fool's arrogance talking, and laughed themselves silly over it. Then they freed him, he went to Rhodes, put together a little fleet, defeated the pirates, and crucified them. Every last one."

"God _damn_. That is cold. But I ain't gonna pretend it doesn't sound appealing right about now."

"I wouldn't mind a little vengeance myself, but first I'd like to know who hired them."

He looked at her in puzzlement. "What do you mean, 'hired'? They're pirates. They saw a good target, and they went after it. It's what they do."

"But that's just the thing. Think about it, André – we _weren't_ a 'good target'. Pirates go for yachts, cruise ships – the places where the rich people are. We were just a cruddy ex-fishing boat." She shook her head forcefully. "There's no _way _that was an accidental meeting. Someone's out to get us."

"But who?" André replied. "Nobody I know has a grudge against me, and I don't think anybody's got in for you, either." He paused. "Well, except for…"

"What?"

"Maybe…Mrs. Lee?"

Jade snorted derisively. "Look, I know that woman doesn't like me, but all Vega and I did was leave her daughter dangling over a stage for a few hours. She wasn't even in any danger. Don't you think that hiring pirates to _kill_ us would fall under the category of 'disproportionate retribution'?"

With a doubtful nod, André replied, "Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right."

Nearly the entire right half of his shirt was soaked in blood now; he showed signs of being about to faint, and Jade could bear it no longer. "Look, 'Dré, you need to bandage that up. I've got plenty of first-aid stuff in my pack."

"No time for that now. I gotta get us to land-"

"**Make** time." She fixed her infamous death glare on him, and he immediately wilted.

"Okay, okay, you win. But make it quick."

She did indeed work swiftly, but her touch was no less careful and gentle for that. "You got mad nursin' skills, you know that?" said André with a smile.

"Guess I've got something to fall back on if the whole 'Tony-winning actor/playwright' thing doesn't work out." As she applied the last layer of bandages, the sun disappeared beneath the horizon.

André looked up at the stars winking into sight one by one. "Um…you know anything about celestial navigation?"

"No." She grinned. "Fortunately, my magical computerized sextant does."

The little device flickered on and scanned the heavens for several minutes. A map materialized on the tiny plasma screen atop the black box, displaying their current position and heading.

"Alrighty. First Mate Harris, come about 180 degrees!"

"You mean 'turn around'?"

"…Yeah," she said sheepishly. "I just wanted to sound nautical and stuff."

"Hey, no problem…I mean, aye aye, Captain West! Coming about!"

Jade grinned broadly. "Take us north by northeast, Mister Harris. To land."

/

As it turned out, Jade had underestimated Caroline Lee twice that day. First, by failing to realize just how far she would go to avenge her daughter's humiliation; and second, by not guessing just how carefully Mrs. Lee had prepared for her goal.

As André and Jade took turns rowing toward what they thought was the coast of South America, the slap of their oars in the water and the gentle murmur of the waves masked the tiny clicking noise made by the electronic scrambler hidden in the bow. Steadily it beamed its ever-varying frequencies across the raft, confusing the readings given by Jade's computerized navigation system.

The two teenagers were not, in fact, heading north by northeast, but _south_ by _south_east.

Toward the ice.


	6. Rude Awakening

**A/N: I notice some reviewers were upset by the twist at the end of the last chapter. Let me therefore take this opportunity to point out that I've planned this story only up to the halfway point; I'm not yet certain how it'll end, so anything's still possible…even 'hawt Argentinians'. ;0)**

**Disclaimer: As ever, don't own.**

The noonday sun beamed directly into Jade's sleeping face, as if to warn her of the disaster that impended, but so deep was her exhaustion that she did not yet awake. The only effect of the light was to alter her dreams; what had been a featureless, dark mindscape of oblivion warped into a half-comprehended nightmare. She was strapped down in a dentist's chair, the lamp above her blinding her, her mouth held open with wires; her saliva had dried to nothing, her tongue was shriveling up, she wanted to cry out but could not. In her troubled sleep, she thrashed about, rocking the little raft.

"Uh-uh-uh BWAH! Uh-uh-uh BWAH!" The sound in her ear pierced the illusion at last, and her eyes fluttered open. The burning corneas could not at first make out her surroundings; she blinked, once, twice. It quickly became clear to her that her throat was no less dry than it had been in her nightmare. Each breath hurt, the bitter chill searing her lungs as her dry tongue flopped about in her mouth. Again the cry of "Uh-uh-uh BWAH!", coming from some squat black shape in the middle distance.

_Desperate times call for desperate measures._ Fumbling in one of the many pockets of her pack, she drew out a flask of brandy. _I may not be 21 yet, but I'm pretty sure that U.S. law doesn't apply here…wherever 'here' is._

The swig was liquid fire; she hated it and thanked God for it in the same instant. The urge was strong to drain the flask dry, but she fought it off and replaced the cap. _Andre or I will probably need it again._

She looked at her companion, who was completely still, his hands loosely hanging onto the oars. Jade worried for a moment that he might have lost consciousness from blood loss, even died; but he suddenly gave a great, galumphing snore. She grinned from ear to ear.

_No sense waking him up yet._ Taking great care not to disturb him, she slid his hands down to his sides, then picked up the now vacant oars.

_Stroke-stroke-stroke-what the…?_

Jade's valiant attempts to row were accomplishing nothing at all, for the raft was now in the grip of a powerful current, drawing it inexorably onward. No matter how she fought, she could not turn the vessel in any direction. She checked her sextant, squinting to make out the map, for her eyes had not yet fully focused. _Well, at least this current's taking us in the right direction – due NNE. A couple more hours and we should make landfall at Tierra del Fuego._

_You know, for a place whose name means 'Land of Fire', it sure is pretty damn __**cold**__ around here…_

She blinked one last time, and her vision cleared. There was a great mass of something dead ahead – presumably land – but where were the people? Where was the vegetation? Why was everything so completely, remorselessly…white?

"Uh-uh-uh BWAH!" _Okay, what the hell is making that damn noise?_ She looked over her right shoulder, and gaped in astonishment.

A little ice floe swept past them, bumping the starboard stern as it did so; and atop it the male Emperor penguin continued his blaring call.

"ANDRE! WAKE UP!" Jade cried. When he responded only with a vague grunt of disapproval and rolled over to get comfortable, she grabbed his shoulder and shook it furiously. His agonized scream reminded her that the wound was still raw, and she instantly let go.

"Oh, God, 'Dre, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…I just panicked. But…look!"

His disgruntled expression turned to amazement, then terror. "Jesus! We're in Antarctica! How did this happen?"

"I…I don't know. We've been following the sextant the whole time, and…do you hear that?"

The water was absolutely calm; the penguin had fallen silent as well. Through the stillness, an infinitesimal beeping reached their ears.

"Ain't that just your 'magic machine'?" The sarcasm in Andre's last two words was palpable.

"No. No, it isn't." Jade got down on hands and knees and peered into the bow. After a moment, her hand settled on a tiny electronic device stuck to the inner hull. She yanked it off; dropped it; crushed it under her foot. The beeping was snuffed out.

At the same moment, before Andre's eyes, the directional map reversed itself, and their true position was laid bare. To their stern, a vast, lifeless expanse of ocean; immediately ahead, a gargantuan shelf of ice, hundreds of miles from any research station or other human settlement.

"This is not happening," Andre said, shutting his eyes tightly and pressing his hands to his temples. "This is a dream, and I'm gonna wake up in bed with Grandma yelling that she burnt the toast again, and it's all gonna go away…"

"Oh, great," Jade snapped. "That's just what I need right now – you having a freakout. Focus, dammit!"

"Focus on what?" His eyes, when he opened them again, were full of despair. "Findin' a 'way out of this'? There _ain't _no way, Jade. We're already dead, and you know it just as well as I do. Hypothermia, or starvation, or exhaustion – it don't matter which, one of 'em's gonna get us sooner or later, whether we stay on this raft or go out on the ice."

"People have survived the Pole before, 'Dre."

"Yeah. People with sled dogs, and mountaineering equipment, and support teams. All _we_ got is what's in your pack. You really think that'll be enough?"

As if to punctuate his words, four ice floes, carried along by the same swift current, surrounded the raft on all sides. With a grinding noise and a sickening crunch, Jade and Andre were completely hemmed in. Their miniature prison of ice drifted toward the looming shelf, bearing the helpless raft along with it.

For an instant – and only an instant – Jade felt herself succumbing to despair. But a voice inside her – that stubborn, snappish, quintessentially Jade-ish voice that gave her the ferocity she needed to keep the world at arm's length – spoke up:

_Jade West does not give up, or give in. Ever._

She rallied herself. "Think of all the tough situations we've been in before, Andre. Prison in Yerba. The cupcake float. Every time we were terrified out of our wits, but every time we _found a way out_. This is no different."

"It _is_ different, though. Then it was all of us. Now it's just you and me, and with my busted shoulder, I'm not gonna be good for much."

She leaned forward to look him in the eye. "Okay, listen up, and listen good. Shoulder or no shoulder, you're the strongest man I know, Andre Harris. You care for your grandma, no matter how sick she gets. You pursue your dream of a music career no matter what the odds, and every time you hit a snag, you find a way around it. Don't you _ever_ try to tell me you're 'weak'."

Hope crept tentatively back into his eyes. "Maybe so…but still, with just two people…"

"Yeah. Just two people, against the most inhospitable, God-forsaken place on the surface of the Earth. And you know what, Andre?"

She whispered in his ear:

"We're gonna _win_."

Andre managed a half-hearted smile. "Y'know, when you talk like that, you almost make me believe you're right."

"Almost?" She raised an eyebrow.

"…Okay." He flashed a grin. "I'll buy what you're sellin'. For now, anyway. Forget nurse – you oughta go with motivational speaker as a fallback career."

They geared up as best they could before landfall: multiple layers of clothing (Jade helping the crippled Andre with his jacket), snowshoes, dark goggles to prevent snow-blindness. Jade blew on her hands to warm them, then pulled on a glove.

As she picked up the other, something moved in the corner of her eye.

She whirled. There was nothing there, save the ice and the mercilessly steel-blue sky.

Andre put a hand on her shoulder. "What is it? Somethin' wrong?"

"...No. I guess it was nothing. All the ice must be playing tricks on my eyes."

At last they headed off. It had begun to snow, and they stayed close to one another, each fearful that the other might become lost if the snow escalated to a blizzard.

Several hundred meters away, a not-quite-human figure, apparently altogether unfazed by the intensifying snowfall, studied the oblivious pair with fixed, lidless eyes.


	7. The Kindness of Strangers

**A/N: In the words of Darkseid, "Let the universe tremble in fear, for I have returned!" Yes, not even the combination of a heavy workload and a persistent computer virus could keep **_**me**_** down.**

**Disclaimer: As ever, don't own.**

As she had once done, when she was a little child, with clouds, so now in the snow and ice Jade tried to identify imaginary shapes: cars and trucks, animals, people. It was silly, she knew, but in this horribly, monotonously white landscape it was the only way she could think of to keep from going mad.

Trusting in their now sabotage-free GPS locator, they were making their way east to a Japanese polar exploration station a hundred and fifty miles away, the nearest human settlement their map had to offer. So far as they knew, the part of the continent where they had been shipwrecked had never felt the tread of a human being before. They had seen only a few signs of life so far in their trek – the occasional gull overhead; sleek seals at play in the watery cracks in the ice; and, most ominously, a white wolf. It had followed them for several hundred yards, at a distance, keeping perfectly even with their pace; and all the time it observed them with placid, thoughtful eyes, as if weighing dispassionately their strengths and weaknesses as prey. At last, presumably having decided that they were too formidable to take on, it snuffed amiably, hot steam swirling around its nostrils, and trotted off; but Jade could not shake the feeling that it would return, when they were exhausted or injured, and treat itself to a hearty meal.

Over them precipices of ice loomed, like fingers ready to drag them down into the earth and freeze them as fully as the sinners in Dante's innermost Hell. It was warming slightly, but even this conspired to punish them, for it turned the oddly comforting silent snowfall into wind-whipped pellets of hail that stung their exposed faces.

The hail swiftly thickened. André shouted something over his shoulder to Jade, but the words were swept away by a gust of wind. "What?" she cried back.

"I said, we gotta make camp. There's no hope of gettin' anywhere – not for the next few hours, anyway."

Jade hated to admit it – every moment in camp would be precious time lost – but he was right. She gave a reluctant nod, and motioned to the leeward side of a great snowdrift.

Even without interference from the wind, pitching the tent was a challenge. Their fingers, so unused to the cold, were almost wholly numb, and hail continued to fall on their backs as they bent over to drive in the stakes. When they were inside and Jade could at last pull out her tiny battery-powered heater, she thought she had never known such bliss.

"You should get some sleep," said André. "I'll keep watch."

"Not a lot of wildlife around to watch out for."

"No argument there, but I didn't like the way that wolf was eyein' us. Best not to take chances – _ngggh_…" As he attempted to remove his outermost jacket, a wave of pain contorted his face.

"Looks like I did a lousy job on your shoulder." Jade silently cursed herself as she helped him.

"You did fine, Jade. And anyway, beatin' yourself up ain't gonna help us much."

"Yeah, but the least I can do is take the first watch while you rest."

He was about to protest again, but pain persuaded him otherwise. "…All right." He pressed the flare gun, salvaged from the ship and now their only weapon, into her hands. "We've only got one shot, so if you have to fire, make damn sure that it counts. Wake me up in four hours and I'll take second shift."

Curling up in a thermal blanket, he lay on his left side and waited for the aching to ebb. At last it sank to a bearable level, and an unrestful sleep came upon him.

Jade sat cross-legged with the flare gun ready to hand, staring at the tent flap. For a moment she closed her eyes and tried to immerse herself in a vision of California – palm trees, sandy beaches, and heat, blessed heat. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined that the trapped-in-an-RV incident would be a pleasant memory, but hell, what she wouldn't give right now to be sweating in a bikini, with a shirtless Beck beside her…

_Beck._ Did he have any idea where she was? Did he care? Surely there was still some affection in him, as there was in her. But even so, would he come charging to the rescue? And if he did, would he have any luck, or simply die alone on the ice? She shuddered at the image that entered her mind, of a corpse slowly buried by layer after layer of snow, while terns circled overhead like vultures…

_No. No more morbidity._ She forced herself to focus on the task at hand, tedious though it was. _After all, nothing and no one's going to show up…_

The tent wall began to shake, accompanied by muffled sounds from outside.

When Jade was six, her mother, in one of her last attempts to "bond" with her daughter before she threw in the towel and walked out on her family, had taken her to see _The Blair Witch Project_. Why exactly Letitia Cowley-West thought that a horror film was suitable fare for a six-year-old was only one of many unsolved mysteries that surrounded her. Jade remembered the film all too vividly, especially the claustrophobic scenes as the three protagonists crouched in terror in their tent while unseen entities beat on it and laughed. _Oh, God. I'm living a nightmare._

"Go away!" she cried at the unknown intruder. "Just go away! Go away, or I'll _kill_ you!" Her screaming awoke André, who propped himself up groggily, then started up in alarm as he realized what was happening, ignoring the pain that rose afresh in his shoulder.

The wind died down, making the confused noises intelligible – a human voice: "Help me, please…"

Jade and André exchanged stunned looks.

"Help me…so cold…please, let me in…" The voice was weak, half-strangled.

"What do you wanna do?" asked André.

"It might be some kind of trick…but if it isn't, we can't leave a man out there to die," Jade replied.

He chuckled softly. "You got more of a soft touch than people think, y'know?"

"Maybe so," she said with a tiny smile as she unzipped the tent. Immediately, a tall, gangly figure, wearing only a thin windbreaker, collapsed on her. She struggled under the weight, but at last managed to roll him off of her.

"Thank…thank you…God bless you…" he whispered.

"Who are you? How did you get out here?"

"P-Patrick…food…please…"

She eased a piece of beef jerky into his mouth, helping him to chew so that he wouldn't choke. André rolled up one of his jackets as an impromptu pillow and propped up his head.

"Tastes…so good…"

"Want another piece?"

But he had fainted dead away.


End file.
